I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
