we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Randomize
