You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
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