I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
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