I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
