addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
