Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
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