I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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