Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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