we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
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I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
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i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
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