I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Randomize
