Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
whose ass print is on the piano?
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize