Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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