Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
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