the new term for farting is butt boxing.
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize
