We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
