Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Randomize
