operation harelip BJ is a go
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
