i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
