The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Randomize
