i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
