i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
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