ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
