Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
