I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
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