Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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