Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
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