You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
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