I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
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