You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize