..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
