omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
