I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
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