shes about as inviting as chlamydia
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
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