i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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