drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
Randomize