he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
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