I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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