Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
this morning i woke up under the kitchen table. i went to my room and there was an inflatable whale in my bed with a banana duct taped to where its penis should be. there were trails of cheez-its around my apartment and i found $67 in the crotch of my underwear. im guessing i had a very happy birthday.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
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