I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
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