Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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