If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
