it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize