I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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