Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
NoShamevember. You game?
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
