I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
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