had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Randomize
