Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize