Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
I think your dad took our porno
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
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