That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
