i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize