oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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