This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
