gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
i just google imaged poop.
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
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