Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
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How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
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My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
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