I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
Randomize
