i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
