i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
You took a bar mat shot.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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