So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Randomize
